Days Like These
It's on days like these that I sneak time away from work to play around with mortgage calculators online in the hopes that I'll somehow trick them into telling me that I don't need to make 50% more than what I am making now to even to begin to afford the cute TIC's I also snuck time away from work to look at on one of the myriad pretentious SF real estate websites. What is it about real estate agents that makes you just want to hit them? Is it the "glamour shot" they always seem to post next to their annoyingly deceptive ads? "Look at me, I'm glamorous AND trustworthy! Give me your entire life savings. I am, after all, just a whore!" Really, who are they fooling? We all know that deep down inside every single real estate agent on earth is a vapid, neurotic basketcase like that Annette Benning character in "American Beauty." Surely they too beat themselves in penitence when they fail to sell their crappy houses. Ptsch.
So, what do you think? Do I have a shot at making 50% more than what I make now within the next 3 to 5 years? I mean, when I fled Shithole, er, Seattle for SF, and abandoned the non-profit field for my current glamorous career as an airport planning professional, my salary shot up by tens of thousands of American dollars. Surely it might do the same again and again, no? Or, are my suspicions correct that life in George Bush's Amurrica means that I'll be stuck in salary limbo forever with no escalating returns?
Everyone just HAS to live in San Francisco. Man.
Mebbe I should follow my pal Dan's advice and plunk down my American dollars on a reasonably priced loft in Minneapolis and rule over it as a long distance slumlord. It's tempting. I can actually afford to buy in Minneapolis RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!
Whatever.
I can't believe that these are the things I'm worrying about. Trust me, boys and girls, all of this home ownership angst is directly related to tomorrow night's drunken drag queen Passover Seder that my flatmate somehow talked me into forking out the American dollars to pay for. Stay tuned for a full report...
Comments
Too damn funny! I got a letter from my credit union the other day offering me a super duper special deal for first time home buyers and so I followed up today and fished through all the Portland real estate. Its like we are totally on the same wavelength dude. Turns out I am lucky to find 350 sq ft in my price range. Fuck home ownership. Renting is less pressure.
Posted by: ken | April 11, 2006 10:50 PM
Is this going to be drag seder? Do I need to be thinking about an outfit, makeup, hairdo? You said all I had to do was bring two bottles of Manischewitz!
Posted by: Huntington | April 12, 2006 10:25 AM
Hmm, well at least you can even afford to buy in MN right this very minute. I'm planning to crawl back east at some point, and I doubt I can afford even a tiny shack in the marshes of Egg Harbor, NJ, at this point. Sigh.
And yumm, Concord Grape wine (I mean it). Don't leave too much lipstick mess on the goblet rims.
Posted by: Joe | April 12, 2006 12:04 PM
Renting may be less pressure, but it's also throwing your American dollars into the black hole that are the deep pockets of your favorite slumlord. No thanks. I'd rather avoid that and be devoting my money towards equity that's all mine. That's the main reason I live at Maison le Trou - it may be a pit, but at least it's dirt cheap and I'm able to (supposedly) save all my extra American dollars for eventual purchase of a proper house.
Posted by: The Angry Young Man | April 12, 2006 02:51 PM
what a crap argument. instead of putting your money into a landlord's pocket you want to give it to a bank? and equity? unless your property surprisingly springs oil its a crap investement. tool.
Posted by: piss | April 12, 2006 09:13 PM
Uh, yeah. Thanks for sharing, "piss."
Posted by: The Angry Young Man | April 13, 2006 01:42 AM
Perhaps Mr. or Ms. Piss doesn't live in Calfornia, where real estate is always a good investment. Even I, who the world knows doesn't have it as a high priority, know that much. Avoid an early 90s land boom in someplace like the Antelope Valley, and you're pretty much set.
Posted by: Huntington, again | April 13, 2006 08:44 AM
i'm sorry. i was just angry. (hey, like you, young man). i take it all back.
Posted by: piss | April 13, 2006 06:48 PM
Doesn't it make you just want to pack it all up and buy an acreage of flat prairie and either raise Bison or build a windfarm (but coincidentally you can't do both because Bison don't like the sound of turbines)?
or not.
Posted by: CV Rick | April 13, 2006 10:19 PM
soma lipitor
Posted by: to soma | July 27, 2007 01:39 PM
soma lipitor
Posted by: to soma | July 27, 2007 01:39 PM