The Angry Young Man

Right. I’m returning to work tomorrow after having had the last three weeks off so my new year really begins tomorrow. Was supposed to go to South America for those three weeks, but decided to use American dollars responsibly and direct it towards paying off a student loan. The pathway to true financial success is through responsible use of my time and American dollars, not through partying all the time and then bitching and moaning about how depressed I am because I’m constantly broke. That’s not the pathway to success, it’s the road to decrepitude in the Tenderloin. Not for me! I’m going to make it after all, damn you!

Spent three weeks productively engaged in home improvement projects, plunking on my guitar, working on my novel, and getting lots of sleep. CE and I determined that we're really just friends, so am now back on the boyfriend market. Spent new year’s with friend from Portland, Chris, his s/o Jerry, and Jerry’s aunt Maggie. Drank Heavily at Tommy’s Mexican out in the avenues, went to a shindig in Bernal Heights, drank some more at Bix, and finally spent midnight at Li Po in Chinatown drinking strange Chinese liqueurs, before dragging the lot up to the Mark Hopkins. Realized the next day that I drank way too heavily as don’t remember how I got home, though do have vague memories of some shouting (not me shouting, thank god). This actually scared me quite a bit. What if I stepped on a kitten or something? Decided to lay off the hooch this year. No more drinks for this Angry Young Man for a very, very long while. Maybe my abdominal muscles will make a reappearance in celebration? Maybe.

Anyway, also took mini-break with Sister-Woman and Brother-Boy down LA way to visit Brother-Boy’s paternal unit and fam in exotic Cerritos near Long Beach. Got to spend quality time with young married friends Shawn and Cristiani over in Eagle Rock. Brought them wedding gift I forgot last summer – an electric can opener (TAYM – I only give electric can openers as wedding presents). Had lunch and engaged in exciting discussion on Cristiani’s dissertation (she’s a PhD candidate in Film Studies at USC). Argued merits of that fraud Foucault. She, in turn, bad mouthed Baudrillard. Was a poststructuralist showdown. Later sat Shawn down with a copy of Discipline and Punish pointing out all the serious scholastic errors that mar that book like craters on a moonscape.

In LA, learned that my annual bonus was about half of what I was expecting. This annoyed me tremendously. Did receive enough to pay off credit card, start social responsibility mutual fund, dump a lot in my savings account, and purchase a few well needed items (i.e., shirts, printer/scanner/photo copier, swiss ball, dresser and lighting from IKEA, and sea monkeys) but not enough to completely pay off littlest student loan as had hoped and anticipated (TAYM - I have 3 student loans - 2 private, one federal consolidated).

Later, checked work e-mail and found memo from CEO apologizing to firm employees. Turns out our firm wasn’t terribly profitable this year, so after 401(k) match and profit sharing, there were no bonuses for the majority of the employees. Bonuses were only given to the few employees who had extraordinarily high billing rates and/or went above and beyond the call of duty in contributing to the firm’s growth. That was me, I guess. I felt a bit bad for being annoyed and decided right there and then to really appreciate what I have and to count my blessings. I’m fortunate to work for a company that acknowledges my hard work. I’m fortunate to have a career I enjoy. I’m fortunate to live in a beautiful, somewhat tolerant city. I’m fortunate to have a lot of good friends who put up with my bullshit and still want to be friends with me even though I have basically spent the last 5 years ignoring them. I’m fortunate to be alive, healthy, and, I realized, generally happy. I’m going to be more positive and upbeat in 2007. I’m going to blow so much sunshine up all your arses you’d a thunk I was lobotomized with a fluorescent bulb and a jackhammer. This is my year to shine, motherfuckers. Be warned.

2006 was a good year. 2007 will be even better.