Gary Cloutier, Sloppy in Public
Yesterday, Sister Woman tipped me off to the news that Vallejo Vice Mayor and mayoral candidate mayor elect, Gary Cloutier was arrested last weekend in Palm Springs (Dinah Shore Open? White Party? What? What?) after getting soaked in one of those bars they have for the gays, getting behind the wheel of a Cadillac, and then barfing all over himself. Cadillac?! Ewwww! The contrite Cloutier has apologized profusely for his misdeed but has not as of yet committed to hauling around Christmas trees in some bogus rehab PR stunt like our own town borracho, Gruesome Newsom.
I fondly remember Gary Cloutier from my early days back in the Bay Area when I was crashing at Sister Woman and Brother Boy's pad up on the hill overlooking Vallejo. Every evening, after departing the ferry from the City and when I wasn't making out with my Ferry Friend in the front seat of the new BMW his boyfriend/keeper bought him for his birthday, I'd walk up Georgia Street in the moribund downtown Vallejo and see Cloutier's face beaming down from one of those "Faces of Vallejo" banners they hung up on all the light poles. I was, of course, smitten, as Gary Cloutier is a damn good looking hunk o' man flesh who'd produce 10,000 of my finest looking babies, given the chance. Naturally he like worked his way through some Ivy League school where he played football or something before being recruited by the gays. Nothing more attractive than a pull 'em up by the bootstraps kinda guy! Hotcha! Frisky as a colt and eager to please!
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of mentioning my man crush to Sister Woman and Brother Boy's downstairs neighbor, Barb the Drunken Lesbeing. Turns out she like lived with him or something, was embittered by the experience, and would fly into a jealous, drunken rage every time I mentioned his name. This was hardly a surprise, as lesbeings are always flying into jealous, drunken rages. However, when she accused me of just supporting the man because I wanted to jump his bones, she crossed the line. It's his politics I'm supporting, ma'am! What the hell you thinking?
Anyway, here's Cloutier's goofy campaign commercial. If anyone can do something for the tragic, yet desperate to be reborn Vallejo, it's this guy...
Comments
Yeah, what could Barb have been thinking, accusing you of supporting candidates who you think are hot? The nerve!
He is smoking hot, though. And an alcohol problem? My favorite - where do I sign up?
Posted by: Cardella de Milo | November 20, 2007 01:31 PM
RRMMMPH! Niiiiiice SCHNOZ.
Posted by: Joe | November 20, 2007 04:31 PM
Is Dinah Shore even a lesbeing?
Posted by: Huntington | November 20, 2007 07:14 PM
Uhhh... where is Vallego?
Posted by: Shane | November 20, 2007 08:44 PM
Shane, do we need to play the online geography game with just a Bay Area map? If you expect anyone to take you seriously when you call yourself a San Franciscan, you need to know where places like that are...and you need to know how to spell them.
Posted by: Huntington | November 21, 2007 07:47 AM
I am NOT a San Franciscan Huntey-baby anymore than you are.
I'm more like someone who found their way to SF through strange passages and now, even while getting a Masters from such an esteemed east-coast university like NYU, still finds themselves in a strange place. I'm both halfway from Colorado (where I'm from) and NY and halfway between the west and east coasts.
BTW - you're score was absolutely amazing. You're either hyper-smart or have hyper-fast fingers or more excitingly - a combination of the two. Regardless your score is fantastic.
Posted by: Shane | November 22, 2007 12:39 AM
total,obvious homo. you're right - he is cute. can someone please do SOMETHING about those dumb mismatched carquinez bridges now? the joke has gotten old.
Posted by: Rich | November 24, 2007 07:26 AM
Making Vallejo "a destination in its own right"? Well, that's a stretch. I tend to think of it as the place where I pay the toll on the way to Tahoe/Sacramento, but he can keep at it. Too bad about the tacky Palm Springs episode. He is cute, though, and a destination in his own right.
Posted by: JunkThief | November 26, 2007 03:58 PM