Final Death Blow to Western Civilization
Christ. Some human here in SF came up with the brilliant idea of putting pancake batter into an aerosol can. Hrmmm. I just have one question. WHY?!!! People in Haiti are eating dirt because the cost of fuel has forced the price of food beyond the reach of like 90% of that basketcase country's population and we're wasting our resources on THIS?! Unbelievable. We as people are not taking the damage we're doing to the planet at all seriously. What's it going to take? Millions of people starving because fuel prices have made food completely unaffordable? It's gonna happen. That's ok, we can poop out pancakes from an aerosol can. What's worse, the batter is organic! ARGHH!!!!
That's it. I disown the human species. Any of you buy this retarded product and I'll force you to wear a giant "P". You think I'm joking? Don't make me come down there! They don't hate our freedom, they hate our breakfast foods...
Speaking of p, my sexy Baptist style boyfriend Mike Huckabee was up on Nob Hill today, speaking at that annoying Commonwealth Club, or so, that's what they'd all like you to think. In fact, he was here to see me and I snuck away from work so we could spend quality time together, bom chicka bom bom. No, seriously, gross! I don't know what he was doing here. Being deluded, maybe. There are like 15 Republicans in this liberal fascist city state we call Baghdad by the Bay, and I hear one of them fell down and broke a hip trying to climb up the hill. Haw! Haw! I'd have made the trek myself but we were having a nasty storm. OK, it was windy and raining. This is California. Anyway, he got flashed by a lotta floppy titties as the Code Pink broads abandoned their usual redundant post at the corner of Market and Montgomery to confront his ass and demand that he end the war. Huh? He's governor of Arkansas. Anyway, he said he was sorry he wasn't president yet because he'd have the Code Pink ladies rounded up if he was! My kinda man!
This photo is dedicated to Kusala.
Comments
Hmmm. Both Dave and Mike also play guitar, just like their unnatural spawn the AYM.
Posted by: Huntington | February 1, 2008 07:36 AM
"Assessments of the health effects are mixed. Dirt can contain deadly parasitess, but can also strengthen the immunity of fetuses in the womb to certain diseases, said Gerald Callahan, an immunology professor at Colorado State University who has studied geophagy, the scientific name for dirt-eating."
Wouldn't it be ironic if mud cookies were actually better for you than spray-can pancakes?
Posted by: Huntington | February 1, 2008 07:51 AM
Was it the Breasts not Bombs ladies headed by that fierce Jewess from NY?
Posted by: Shane | February 1, 2008 08:09 AM
Aerosol Pancakes . . . you know these are the exact types of things I was creating as a Food and Beverage Process Engineer. I made "Giant Cookies," some rolled dough in cans, toaster melts (when toasted, the frosting changed colors), all kinds of instant sandwiches, freezer products, baked goods, etc. I think I destroyed the planet.
Posted by: CV Rick | February 1, 2008 10:38 AM
Is a life without pancakes you can spray directly into your mouth really worth living?
Not to mention a whole new frontier of huffing possibility...
God bless the USA.
Posted by: ken | February 1, 2008 01:12 PM
To the annals of American gustatory excess must be added hamburgers with Krispy Kreme buns:
http://food.yahoo.com/blog/ahamburgertoday/2775/the-fatkreme-does-it-predate-the-luther-burger
When mud-cookie-crazed Haitians invade the U.S. and line us all up against the wall to be shot, this will be the reason given.
Posted by: Huntington | February 2, 2008 11:14 AM
"sexy Baptist style"
This is eternally priceless and gets me all thinking about what the fashion exposé for this style would be like.
Posted by: dawn | February 3, 2008 11:58 AM
Aw, yeah! That's what I'm talkin about! But you need to accompany that with a photo of your head photoshopped into a photo of a little baby with a frilly cap being carried by some bird-flu-carrying stork or suttum.
Off topic: Can you be a IslamoChristo-like fascist and totally block Shane's IP address from your blog on the basis of the following comment that he ejected from his rectal regions today?:
http://www.haloscan.com/comments/joemygod/8017744390466831561/?src=hsr#991990
Posted by: Joe | February 7, 2008 06:16 PM
One more thing: do you think you can get a nice nitrous oxide high off of that "pancake-in-a-can" thingy without liquefying too much gray matter? Would you check that out for me, please?
Posted by: Joe | February 7, 2008 06:19 PM
Joe -
I will not ban Shane. That's not what free speech is about. While I agree that Shane's comment was rather stupid, it was less so than like 99 percent of the other comments posted over there. Of course, why shouldn't they be? The article being referred to completely mischaracterized the issue and turned it into a panic piece. For example, "homosexuality is punishable by death under Sharia." Relevance? The author is attempting to imply that If the Muslims get their own courts it'll mean death for the gays. Bullshit. Sharia courts already operate in the UK, as do orthodox Jewish courts. These courts do not usurp British law, generally handle things like divorce, and all parties bringing cases before them must agree to do so from the get go. The closest analogue we'd have here in the States is alternative dispute resolution (i.e., arbitration and mediation). Instead of limiting people's freedoms under the law, these courts expand them by giving them a wider variety of options for settling their disputes. The hysteria is simply exaggerated racism. The Islamification of Europe is a silly myth. I'm surprised that Shane, being a typically overzealous convert to Judaism, hence his hatred for all things Muslim, would be so hostile to a concept his own people enjoy and have enjoyed in the UK for quite some time. Ignorance, perhaps?
Also, the propellant in those stupid pancake batter abortions is CO2. I would highly recommend you avoid huffing the pancake batter, Joe.
Posted by: The Angry Young Man | February 7, 2008 10:11 PM
I understood everything you wrote even before you wrote it. Especially the part about Shane's ignorance.
I still think you should ban Shane. Ban me while you're at it. Feh.
I'm off to huff some Extra-Rich Corn-Syrup-Solids-Enhanced Reddi-Wip.
Posted by: Joe | February 8, 2008 08:13 AM