The Angry Young Man

I love how THIS is the top story on Europe over there at that amusing CNN website. Europe, as you are well aware, has no news, as it is all post-civilization and is entirely populated by svelte fashionistas with apostrophe shaped hair who just sit around enjoying long lunches and coffee breaks from their highly paid, three hour a day civil service jobs, so they can chain smoke incessantly while saying things like "pouf!" and "alors!" in between sips of their sparkling water that came out of a bottle shaped like a sleek rocket ship from the 1930's. Anyway, turns out the dreaded male bits and pieces malady known as "Cello Scrotum" has been revealed as a hoax. Seems some English Lady from the English Parliament made it up 35 years ago during Feminism 2.0 as a mean joke on men and has now decided to come clean. Very amusing. Cellists everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.

You know, it's interesting that men so rarely talk about the various aliments that can strike their bits and pieces. I mean, when was the last time someone held a jog-a-thon for penile cancer? Are you mens out there even aware of all the horrors that can attack your special man areas? Really?

This reminds me of when I worked for the feminists. See, back in the 1970's, angered at the indifference and lack of knowledge of lady parts prevalent among the physicians of the time, the feminist leaders in my organization decided to take matters into their own hands and started throwing "self help" parties. A self help party is where you gather together all your girlfriends for some fondue and Harvey's Bristol Cream in front of the red metal hooded fireplace and a hairly legged woman's libber came round with a bunch of specula and then forced everyone to drop trou and show each other their cervixes! It was like an Annie Sprinkle show with canapes!

When I first heard about this, I was amazed. I mean, can you imagine men gathering together and doing something like this? NO WAY! It then occurred to me that thanks to the efforts of these women, the ladyfolk among us prolly know a lot more about their bodies then the menfolk do. That's a very impressive thing.